Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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