Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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