Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
