I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
