Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
