so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
