if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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