Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
