Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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