It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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