people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
