another moral hangover. fuck.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
