CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
