I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
