I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
