so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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