I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
