he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
