Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i will never coherently bang her
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
