cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
operation have a gay friend backfired
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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