i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
