Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
