did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
