omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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