would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
