apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
