what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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