): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
