I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
