JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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