this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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