I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
