Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
