ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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