the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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