what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
