do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize