then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
