I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
