why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
