I cockslap morals
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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