you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
