shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
