My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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