I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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