I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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