Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
MIDGETS
????
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
