I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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