# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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