found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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