yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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