it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
