it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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