whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
