he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
