so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
