do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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