great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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